9/11 my birthday

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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