What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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women's rights.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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