What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down -4

steven hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

thumb_up thumb_down -6

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops