AROUND

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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does this look unsure to you?

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

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What's brown and sticky? ...poop....and refried beans

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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why did the boy drop her ice cream? -he got hit by a bus

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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