What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

Pandas Everywhere!!!

My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

Rick Perry.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

does this look unsure to you?

What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

How much does a Mexican Parade cost? A Nickel

What do apples taste like? Apples.

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Wife: 'what did I put into the washing machine ?' Husband: laundry

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

Roses are shit Violets are my dick Guess what I do for a living? Sex with refrigerator monkeys!

black people. that is all...

Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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