why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Hey, come here often? No.

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What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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come along children

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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