Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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live babies

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What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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