What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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I got shot, you laughed

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Why don't blind people skydive? They do.

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A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

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What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

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Women's rights.

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No.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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