ASSCHEEKS

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

thumb_up thumb_down -21

o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -41

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

thumb_up thumb_down +126

whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I dislike old people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A black guy walks in to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops