Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Why so serious? Why bad grammar?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops