if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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No.

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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Steering Wheel Face.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting brutally sodimized and murdered by a serial rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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