wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

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What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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There is a car full of black people.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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