What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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I like to eat.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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No.

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How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Kim Kardashian.

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Freedom of Speech

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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