I hate you.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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-Why did Sara fall off the swing? -I don't know, why? -She had no arms, knock knock -Who's there? -Not Sara.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Lockerbie bombing

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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