A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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cc

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Freedom of Speech

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops