Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Chocolate tastes good.

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How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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