How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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