Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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