"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

69

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

thumb_up thumb_down -5

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

wanna here a joke? you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops