Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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pobody's nerfect

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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