An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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