There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

Burp

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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