How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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Lololol

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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