If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

Boxing on Boxing Day

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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