A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Do you play piano? No

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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