Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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