What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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