There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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your face is kinda funny

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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balls

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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