-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops