What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's long and black? A long and black object.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops