Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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