Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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i'm hard

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops