how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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