Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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