Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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