Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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