Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops