A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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