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Allah walked into AK Bar

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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