How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

your brother so fine that hes skinney

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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