You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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school homewrok

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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