A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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