why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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