How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mumma's so fat she is fat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops