what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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mitchell palmer sucks

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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