What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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