How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black Decepticon? Niggatron. What Pokemon is black? Niggachu. What lives in the sewers, eats pizza and is black? Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. What is Disney's most racist children's book? Winnie the Pooh and Nigger Too.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops