A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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Bob Saget that is all

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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