A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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civil rights

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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