Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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