What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Haha, I get it..

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what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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