why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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