What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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