Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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