Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Indians

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops