Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

child labor

little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Hello

Blacks

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...