Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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