Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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