So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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