Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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David Cameron

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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