awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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I <3 Hitler

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yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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I love you

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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