A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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