Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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