Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! F*ck off

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops