Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

What's brown and sticky? My ass.

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

How about that airline food?

What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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